I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
