was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
