he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
