I just cut my nipple shaving
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
