I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This baby is an asshole
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize