I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
