cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize