i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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