I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
