whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
