too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
