I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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