It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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