You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
