Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
