I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
