did you get engaged???
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
