Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
