He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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