For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My breath smells like gin and sadness
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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