Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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