Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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