In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
