Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
