This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
