I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
