listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
