you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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