and you said cock pushups were impossible
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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