so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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