i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
