once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
