His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize