I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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