Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
