i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
its not stalking. its research.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
