i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
