I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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