how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
