sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
