I hate all girls vehemently.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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