YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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