Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
