I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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