And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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