so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize