I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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