I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
