I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
