wake up i wanna do it froggy style
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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