this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
