But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
