So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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