An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
