dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
