you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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