Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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