dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
