How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
