I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there was a trapeze. enough said
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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